I was originally going to call this "Reasons why Jenn Carney is so awesome" because she threatened to stop reading my posts if I didn't post something happier than musings on head injuries and loss...but I thought twice about such a blatant ploy for readership...sorry, Jenn.
This feels a bit self-congratulatory, and that is not easy for me. I am not good at seeking or accepting compliments, but I want to share how proud I am of my children, young adults though they may be.
July is shaping up to be a good month for my progeny. My son Thomas has found a good job, with benefits and opportunities in his field. He'll be doing project management for a local leasing firm, and I am very happy for him. My youngest, Craig, will soon start a quality engineering position locally. He too will have a good salary, benefits, and chances for growth. Caitlin was recently honored at her workplace as an innovator. She is a creative and innovative person who also does not deal well with praise. She felt she totally fumbled her speech...
It is not about the money, although I am pleased that they all will be reasonably well compensated for their efforts. I am pleased because they are wonderful people, good citizens, and hard workers. Thomas is one of the most ethical people I know. He is a good solid person who others admire and respect, I know I do. Years ago he was honored by his principal for standing up to bullies on behalf of a classmate who has some obvious disabilities. He stood by an injured friend after an unfortunate fight years ago, staying with him at a hospital and getting him treatment, He may have saved his life. I am very proud of him.
Craig has turned many disappointments into opportunities. He has applied for many positions in his major field of criminal justice, but has been able to learn quality work in manufacturing through on the job training and self-discipline. As a student athlete I saw him make decisions that benefited his team at his expense. He can be selfless and honorable. I am very proud of him.
Caitlin is a talented designer and technician. She never seems to give herself credit for the skills she has, and she is surprised when others recognize and praise her for them. She may be most like me, we have similar tastes in music and literature and I love spending time with her. She has established herself professionally, bought a home, and I am very proud of her as well.
I cannot ignore Terri's role in making these wonderful people. She took time away from her career to be with them when Craig was small, she has always made time for their games and concerts and events. She has been a wonderful partner to me and a wonderful Mother to my children.
So what? Why should anyone care about some guy's love letter to his children?
I am not asking you to care. I just want anyone who happens across this to know that I am filled with hope for the future when I look at them, when I examine their choices, when I spend time with their friends and significant others. I know I am biased, I know you can write this off as some random rambling by a middle-aged man who should be reading and writing for his own classes, but I wanted to share this. I had to share this.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Monday, May 14, 2012
Mixed emotions, or not...
I had a very disturbing experience recently, one that has made me think about how I perceive others and what I think I want from them. A friend and colleague committed an act of fraud that has ruined his career. He and I have not been in touch in some time, we both changed jobs and moved in different directions, but the time we had spent working together was enjoyable and important at the time. And now, I don't know what to say.
I accept that as much as I believe we are in the business of education, the business of changing lives and helping people realize their best selves, we are also in the credentialing business. Credentials are at the core of what we do, it is proof that people have met a standard.
My friend represented that he held credentials that he did not have. And my sense of my own ability to judge character is shaken.
He had been very complimentary to me when I, at last, gave up on an Ed.D. I was pursuing when I knew that I could not, would not, give it the time it demanded. Then, and now, I rationalized it as a choice I made, not a failure. It came down to the sacrifices I was unwilling to make, and I spent my time being a Scout Leader and an assistant coach, I went to games and concerts, and I didn't finish, and he lauded me for that. I was touched. I genuinely liked and respected him, his opinion mattered to me, he was a younger guy making big moves, and maybe, just maybe, (or probably) I got a vicarious thrill from his accomplishments. We presented at national meetings, we attempted to launch networks, we had the kind of intellectual discussions about our profession that I wanted and needed.
Was it all a sham?
I really don't like thinking that I have been misled. I hate feeling as though I let myself be played. And I hate most that someone I liked and admired and respected could fail so spectacularly.
I accept that as much as I believe we are in the business of education, the business of changing lives and helping people realize their best selves, we are also in the credentialing business. Credentials are at the core of what we do, it is proof that people have met a standard.
My friend represented that he held credentials that he did not have. And my sense of my own ability to judge character is shaken.
He had been very complimentary to me when I, at last, gave up on an Ed.D. I was pursuing when I knew that I could not, would not, give it the time it demanded. Then, and now, I rationalized it as a choice I made, not a failure. It came down to the sacrifices I was unwilling to make, and I spent my time being a Scout Leader and an assistant coach, I went to games and concerts, and I didn't finish, and he lauded me for that. I was touched. I genuinely liked and respected him, his opinion mattered to me, he was a younger guy making big moves, and maybe, just maybe, (or probably) I got a vicarious thrill from his accomplishments. We presented at national meetings, we attempted to launch networks, we had the kind of intellectual discussions about our profession that I wanted and needed.
Was it all a sham?
I really don't like thinking that I have been misled. I hate feeling as though I let myself be played. And I hate most that someone I liked and admired and respected could fail so spectacularly.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
some thoughts about head injuries...
I haven't written in a while, and while I would like to blame that on the busy-ness of work and life, the painful truth is that I often think about sharing something and then decide that NO ONE in their right mind would care about what I might think or say. But this is different. I wrote briefly about this on my web page and now I have processed and thought it through to where I feel I should say something. Even when the topic, the title above is so depressing or possibly morbid.
Junior Seau, a former professional football player, recently killed himself. He shot himself in the chest, sparing his brain, which his family has donated for research. I am not a die-hard football fan, but I liked what I saw of Junior Seau, he played hard and passionately, and he was a team leader. Dave Duerson formerly of the Chicago Bears killed himself in the same way not too long ago. Too often we hear about the post-concussion syndrome former NFL players experience and the toll it takes on their lives. Some might say, "so what? these guys make lots of money beating their own bodies and the bodies of others, why should I care?" to which I answer, because it isn't just at this level...
I played high school and college football, and while I was never a great player, I remember the head injuries I endured in practices and in games, and realize how much harder and faster these players at the "elite" levels are being hit. I was a 210lb defensive end in Division III, now players at my position might weigh 290lb and run a 4.4 40 yd dash. Agile, mobile, and hostile just scratches the surface...Besides the training, conditioning, and nutrition, what has changed? The equipment.
My first few helmets were lined with leather and cotton webbing like you would see in a nice preppy belt. It was a plastic shell with enough suspension to keep my head from colliding with the sides of the helmet. If I hit someone really hard, or if they hit me, I felt it. Big time. Later I had a more modern helmet with plastic and foam, and air bladders that helped fit the helmet to the unique contours of my head. I still had teammates who missed games due to severe concussions.
Today, I see updated technology, but the same basic designs, a hard shell lined with bladders and foam, but how well will it protect you, or your son, when a 200-300lb person moving at high speed collides with you? The problem as I see it is that the violence of the game has escalated as players have gotten bigger, stronger, and faster, and the equipment has not kept pace. Sure there are "flak" jackets for quarterbacks and other protective gear for necks and knees, but the helmet is more a weapon than it is a protection.
Lacrosse contact is not as violent as football, there are body checks but no tackles, and yet I have seen the same kind of glazed eyes on players in lacrosse, hockey, even soccer when big, strong, fast people collide.
So, I worry. I worry about young people with long lives ahead of them being permanently damaged just to play a game for too few years. I wonder how many of my 55 year old aches and pains are the residue of pushing a young body too hard, making it do and endure more than it needed.
By the way, my last concussion (at least the last one I remember) I received playing softball. (I wasn't a very good 2nd baseman.)
Junior Seau, a former professional football player, recently killed himself. He shot himself in the chest, sparing his brain, which his family has donated for research. I am not a die-hard football fan, but I liked what I saw of Junior Seau, he played hard and passionately, and he was a team leader. Dave Duerson formerly of the Chicago Bears killed himself in the same way not too long ago. Too often we hear about the post-concussion syndrome former NFL players experience and the toll it takes on their lives. Some might say, "so what? these guys make lots of money beating their own bodies and the bodies of others, why should I care?" to which I answer, because it isn't just at this level...
I played high school and college football, and while I was never a great player, I remember the head injuries I endured in practices and in games, and realize how much harder and faster these players at the "elite" levels are being hit. I was a 210lb defensive end in Division III, now players at my position might weigh 290lb and run a 4.4 40 yd dash. Agile, mobile, and hostile just scratches the surface...Besides the training, conditioning, and nutrition, what has changed? The equipment.
Today, I see updated technology, but the same basic designs, a hard shell lined with bladders and foam, but how well will it protect you, or your son, when a 200-300lb person moving at high speed collides with you? The problem as I see it is that the violence of the game has escalated as players have gotten bigger, stronger, and faster, and the equipment has not kept pace. Sure there are "flak" jackets for quarterbacks and other protective gear for necks and knees, but the helmet is more a weapon than it is a protection.
Lacrosse contact is not as violent as football, there are body checks but no tackles, and yet I have seen the same kind of glazed eyes on players in lacrosse, hockey, even soccer when big, strong, fast people collide.
So, I worry. I worry about young people with long lives ahead of them being permanently damaged just to play a game for too few years. I wonder how many of my 55 year old aches and pains are the residue of pushing a young body too hard, making it do and endure more than it needed.
By the way, my last concussion (at least the last one I remember) I received playing softball. (I wasn't a very good 2nd baseman.)
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
been away...again
For the few of you who actually read my "brain droppings" (with a nod to the late, great George Carlin) I have a few thoughts to share that I hope don't devolve into a rant. I don't like when I rant, as I am usually lowering myself to level of the behavior about which I am upset. Perhaps I'll share my Syracuse Lacrosse tournament story some time. I really strayed to the dark side of my nature that day...
Anyway, I am deeply troubled by the anti-intellectual tone the Republican primaries have taken on. It seems that being smart, or daring to aspire to be intelligent, is no longer a trait to emulate, but rather an albatross to bear. Oops, there I go, using literary allusions that put distance between me and the "common man" candidates are courting so fervidly. Oh oh, is fervid too obscure a word?
Seriously, former Pennsylvania Senator Santorum has criticized the President for supporting higher levels of post-secondary learning. This bald appeal to the lowest common denominator is almost as horrid as Newt Gingrich's barely cloaked racism. I know I lean a bit to the left, but for God's sake, these people have made "moderate" a dirty word! I grew up in Pennsylvania, and wonder how Santorum can live with his incredibly narrow minded views on homosexuality given the pretty obv
ious "unholy trinity" I observe each time I go home...what is that you ask? The Three P's of PA...Porn, Pyrotechnics, and the Pentecost. Drive down Rt15/99 through the heart of PA, the endless mountains, and you are assailed by adult bookstores/strip joints, sales of (illegal) fireworks (better have an out of state license), and churches...hundreds of churches all seeking to redeem your stained, tainted soul.
Living here in (Godless) New York, I seldom find anyone seeking to sell me adult products (OK, the occasional billboard in the city), fireworks (yeah, we are heavily regulated), or salvation. I respect that.
Growing up in Aliquippa, PA in the 60s and 70s, I was unaware of much of the world beyond the tri-state area of PA, OH, and WV. The 1969 Boy Scout Jamboree opened my eyes to a much larger America, travelling by bus to Idaho at the age of 12, college further opened me up, a friend from the Virgin Islands, meeting people from India and Iran, realizing how little I really knew, learning that my education would never be complete. But I feel like I may be (or have) ranting(ed).
Back to the anti-intellectual tone of the current campaign, can someone explain to me how the erudite Connecticut Yankee, George H.W. Bush begat the "good ol' boy" W? Is it something in the water? Or is Perry intentionally doing a bad "dubya" imitation? Perry and his Florida counterpart Rick Scott are already doing their level best to destroy public higher education in their states, is this what we can look forward to in the future? A Santorum/Perry/Scott approach to higher learning that says "less is more"? "Don't git too smart son, it'll git in yore way to the Waht Haas"...
I am not usually political here, I know that if I were polite I'd not discuss religion or politics (and I've done both) and run the risk of offending others, but I have been SO offended recently that I find it hard to stay quiet. I hope the electorate remember to respect the Constitutional separation of church and state. Our future depends on it.
Anyway, I am deeply troubled by the anti-intellectual tone the Republican primaries have taken on. It seems that being smart, or daring to aspire to be intelligent, is no longer a trait to emulate, but rather an albatross to bear. Oops, there I go, using literary allusions that put distance between me and the "common man" candidates are courting so fervidly. Oh oh, is fervid too obscure a word?
Seriously, former Pennsylvania Senator Santorum has criticized the President for supporting higher levels of post-secondary learning. This bald appeal to the lowest common denominator is almost as horrid as Newt Gingrich's barely cloaked racism. I know I lean a bit to the left, but for God's sake, these people have made "moderate" a dirty word! I grew up in Pennsylvania, and wonder how Santorum can live with his incredibly narrow minded views on homosexuality given the pretty obv
ious "unholy trinity" I observe each time I go home...what is that you ask? The Three P's of PA...Porn, Pyrotechnics, and the Pentecost. Drive down Rt15/99 through the heart of PA, the endless mountains, and you are assailed by adult bookstores/strip joints, sales of (illegal) fireworks (better have an out of state license), and churches...hundreds of churches all seeking to redeem your stained, tainted soul.Living here in (Godless) New York, I seldom find anyone seeking to sell me adult products (OK, the occasional billboard in the city), fireworks (yeah, we are heavily regulated), or salvation. I respect that.
Growing up in Aliquippa, PA in the 60s and 70s, I was unaware of much of the world beyond the tri-state area of PA, OH, and WV. The 1969 Boy Scout Jamboree opened my eyes to a much larger America, travelling by bus to Idaho at the age of 12, college further opened me up, a friend from the Virgin Islands, meeting people from India and Iran, realizing how little I really knew, learning that my education would never be complete. But I feel like I may be (or have) ranting(ed).
Back to the anti-intellectual tone of the current campaign, can someone explain to me how the erudite Connecticut Yankee, George H.W. Bush begat the "good ol' boy" W? Is it something in the water? Or is Perry intentionally doing a bad "dubya" imitation? Perry and his Florida counterpart Rick Scott are already doing their level best to destroy public higher education in their states, is this what we can look forward to in the future? A Santorum/Perry/Scott approach to higher learning that says "less is more"? "Don't git too smart son, it'll git in yore way to the Waht Haas"...
I am not usually political here, I know that if I were polite I'd not discuss religion or politics (and I've done both) and run the risk of offending others, but I have been SO offended recently that I find it hard to stay quiet. I hope the electorate remember to respect the Constitutional separation of church and state. Our future depends on it.
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