For once, I'll write about something that is not drawn from a recent film, although the temptation to write about The Illusionist is very strong. Yesterday I attended a workshop, the content isn't important here, and the greatest "takeaway" I experienced was learning to "listen to understand" instead of "listening to respond." I am currently engaged in graduate study (again) and a lot of my class work is online, posting comments and responding to comments made by others. I am struck by how I read their comments to "respond" to their posting, rather than reading to "understand" their position or perspective.
I am also, as part of my program, receiving "coaching" about my leadership and management style. I got mixed feedback on "listening", "Joe is a good listener" "He hears others out before moving on" and "Joe needs to listen more" "He likes to talk, sometimes at the expense of listening." Now, I have insight to this seemingly contradictory information. How can I change my own style to better "understand?"
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You need to adjust nothing. People need to be listened to in varying amounts. Those who tend to be insecure or unsure, in my experience, tend to lean on "You weren't listening" as an additional crutch.
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