Thursday, December 23, 2021

After careful consideration...

I have been ruminating on this particular message for a while. In a post long ago I reminded myself that I had been admonished by a friend for thoughtful, but dark, posts about head trauma and the like. Recently, I had been thinking about some of the sociopaths I have encountered in my life, but will postpone that "less than festive" topic for a later time.

In the spirit of the holiday, I'd like to address gifts I have received. These gifts are not always tangible, but often the gifts of greatest value are not. Many years ago, one of my most cherished mentors provided a very meaningful and life altering affirmation for me. I believe I have written of this here before, but Keith's words to me resonate to this day, and I am forever grateful to him for leaving me that bit of his wisdom to try to "pay forward" when possible. Others have boosted me as well, not always professionally, but personally. A close female friend from college and I were in one of those reminiscing conversations some time back when I shared that during our college days I heard a lot of "confessions" from young women with whom we had gone to school. These confessions were really just conversations but took on an intimacy because of their content. They shared with me decisions they had made that left them with guilt and pain. I told L that I never really understood that. That maybe I missed a calling to the priesthood, but she said something that I have never forgotten. "They told you because you are the least judgemental person I have ever known. They knew you would listen". Years later another close friend and colleague once told me "you actually like women and listen to us. And, you read."

More recently, I received a message from a young woman whom I had hired in her first professional position. She is finishing her bachelor's degree and thanked me for believing in her when she did not necessarily believe in herself. She told me that my affirmation of her was transformational and I'd like to think that I have validated Keith's incredible kindness to me by "paying it forward."

So, a holiday wish to any of you who take time to read my ramblings. I hope that you too are affirmed, buoyed, and lifted up this season. And if you are so fortunate, please find someone who needs to see themselves for the special, unique person they are, and share your gift of kindness with them. 

BTW:

My two most recent gifts!


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