Mixed emotions, or not...

I had a very disturbing experience recently, one that has made me think about how I perceive others and what I think I want from them. A friend and colleague committed an act of fraud that has ruined his career. He and I have not been in touch in some time, we both changed jobs and moved in different directions, but the time we had spent working together was enjoyable and important at the time. And now, I don't know what to say.

I accept that as much as I believe we are in the business of education, the business of changing lives and helping people realize their best selves, we are also in the credentialing business. Credentials are at the core of what we do, it is proof that people have met a standard.

My friend represented that he held credentials that he did not have. And my sense of my own ability to judge character is shaken.

He had been very complimentary to me when I, at last, gave up on an Ed.D. I was pursuing when I knew that I could not, would not, give it the time it demanded. Then, and now, I rationalized it as a choice I made, not a failure. It came down to the sacrifices I was unwilling to make, and I spent my time being a Scout Leader and an assistant coach, I went to games and concerts, and I didn't finish, and he lauded me for that. I was touched. I genuinely liked and respected him, his opinion mattered to me, he was a younger guy making big moves, and maybe, just maybe, (or probably) I got a vicarious thrill from his accomplishments. We presented at national meetings, we attempted to launch networks, we had the kind of intellectual discussions about our profession that I wanted and needed.

Was it all a sham?

I really don't like thinking that I have been misled. I hate feeling as though I let myself be played. And I hate most that someone I liked and admired and respected could fail so spectacularly.